This week I’m going to walk through some messed up thinking – examples of people who just didn’t get it. The kind of stuff you have to be prepared to deal with when leading a church (or leading anything).Sometimes you will have church members who think they’ve earned special rights – they believe they deserve what others don’t.I remember one occasion when a church member called my cell phone while I was on vacation! When I got the message I immediately had a staff member return the call – but this person was upset that I didn’t personally return his call, and he made it his profession to make as many people aware as possible. When the staff member spoke with him it was just a “Bible trivia” question. At the end of the discussion, everything seemed taken care of.

However, several months later it was brought to my attention that this was still an issue. Apparently he was talking this up with others. About the same time his wife called the office to schedule a meeting for her husband. She said, “We’ve been members a long time, the least we can do is get a meeting.”

Let me just break this down:

• The reason a pastor has a staff is to handle stuff because he can’t handle everything.
• If you talk to one of my staff, it’s as good as talking to me.
• I don’t have time to play Bible trivia – lives are at stake and I’m trying to reach them and grow them.
• Calling the office playing the “we’ve been members a long time” or “we are consistent givers” is called manipulation. You are no more important that the person who is coming for the very first time. While I deeply appreciate your investment in the life of our church, I will not be manipulated or held hostage by people who think they’ve earned special treatment. I don’t know where you learned that – probably in “traditional institutional” churches.
• You need to break the cylce. The man who left our church because “the pastor won’t talk to me…” – his mother was also telling people that my wife won’t return her phone calls – messages she never got. Of course the whole family left the church.
• If there are people in your congregation that have been members of several churches in your city over the years, your church will not be their final church home. Their moving on as soon as you don’t measure up.

To people and families like the one mentioned. I’m sorry I couldn’t meet your expectations. I join a list of other pastors and churches who, over the years, also failed. Hopefully you will find a place that can meet your expectations. If your new pastor calls you daily or weekly, that’s awesome. I’ll be calling your neighbors who don’t know Christ yet – and ministering to real needs (like people in the hospital or people going through real crisis – not just “I have a question about…”).

The reality is this kind of behavior from “church members” is not Christ-like, it’s convoluted and polluted.